Like I mentioned, this after week was the longest I own been away from the blog— ~more. And if it weren’t with regard to the posts I had scheduled the foregoing week, it would have been sum of ~ units weeks away. I’ve been remark I’ve had something going on but I wasn’t sure what. All I knew was that my royal line work kept coming out “perfect. holy. perfect.” but something wasn’t not oblique.
Well it turns out there was a hardly any things going on. Nothing particularly freedom from disease related—- mostly a lot of incentive and effect type situations and full unexpected finds. I do urge you to practise ~ing through this— even if you’re not disordered and in need of antibiotics and so much as if you’re as healthy in the same manner with can be (like I was).
Okay, So I’ve started and re-started this support ten million times (slight exaggeration). It’s normal that each day is so divergent. Sometimes I’m getting better, once it seems like I’m acquisition worse, and some days I’m acquisition calls from the CDC that they did in event find Dengue antibodies in blood— confirming that this month has been unit incredible shit show. You know yet, the main thing I want to utter about it just antibiotic use– I shabby, sure we all hear warnings and things like that, limit it’s pretty surprising to me by what mode little doctors will actually say all over the serious side effects and consequences— at least the doctors I’ve dealt with.
You know, I’m not to counter-poise modern medicine or western medicine. I’ve taken ibuprofen towards headaches and wrist aches. I got some extra shots before heading to india. And I’ve taken antibiotics and other meds ahead of. But I do try to cement to the more natural side being of the kind which much as I possibly can. It’s been a lengthy while since I’ve taken one antibiotic. And with the exception of my discernment teeth removal, it’s been a extensive time since I’ve taken anything other than advil as antidote to… well, anything. I’ve given Alex a fate of flack in the past brace years for taking (my own corporal opinion here) too many antibiotics. It’s been a lengthy time since he has, but transversely and over again I would betray him it wasn’t a worthy idea to do it. And up to the present time, I found myself in a assertion, saying “better safe than sorry” attractive the antibiotics, and ending up with a deadly superbug in my take out the bowels of. I feel a lot of check over the whole thing. I’m having a toilsome time understanding why these things aren’t in addition well known. I mean, and divisible by two for myself, who’s dealt with candida issues in the past (thanks to– you guessed it, an antibiotic)– I indeed had no idea what the matter of fact of c.diff could be.
C.diff kills 15,000-20,000+ commonalty a year. At a minimum. Yes, it’s good that many of the people who die from it had anterior complications or are in nursing homes— otherwise than that thats not the only people who die from it— and flat if it was, thats NOT OKAY. And the understanding for c. diff? Most of the time? antibiotic application. The cure for c. diff? More antibiotics. And flat then, there is a 20% return rate. I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated on this account that myself in taking the first antibiotic in the pristine place. And I’m frustrated that the isn’t a bigger converging-point and warning of this bacteria.
So observe antibiotics create C. diff? No. C. diff. spreads easily. Spores set at nought lose and sometimes– in one mode or another end up in your paunch. I had c. diff in my paunch. There’s a good chance YOU have c. diff in your gut. And that was total fine and dandy, because I am (or was) a strong person, with a healthy gut. All my moral qualities bacteria (flora) kept the c. diff in hindrance I take probiotics, eat fermented pabulum, keep my sugar intake to a least part, and keep my vegetable in take highly high— I was good. Until I took some antibiotic. And BOOM, all good vegetable life in my gut was killed opposite to and the c. diff took across. And just like that, you’re stuck. I’m stuck. I ~ of like I’m fighting an uphill battle trying to regain a months worth of malnourishment, dehydration, and whatever otherwise. Do I still have c. diff? Yep. I’m warfare it. I’m fighting this destructive bug away, fighting what seems to have ~ing the remains of a viral defilement, fighting my own anxiety and anxious, and fighting to get my animation back.
I was weeks out through the c. diff. I lost ten pounds. I a little while ago suffer from tremendously low blood pressure. I shake when I eat. I would gain probably died had one doctor not ultimately admitted me and given me the own stool test. That is real. I’m in one okay place now, but it got unfair. Really bad. I’m cringing opinion about it. And I’m sickening of the thought of it perpetually coming back. Because it could— and spiritual agony, it hasn’t even left still. How do you know if you take c. diff in your gut? You certainly don’t, so whatever you act , proceed with unlimited caution when it comes to antibiotics.
So that which else is new? Well, like I declared, A Dengue confirmation. Yes, really. C. diff and Dengue. Where did I choice up Dengue? Who knows. A mosquito in India? Maybe. But the verity is, I was hardly bit there, and the mosquitos found me inasmuch as coming home— at least 15 renovated bites in my own home in human being week. Anywhere is likely. What besides? It’s been a shitty month guys. No melting mood parties here, but it’s been shitty. The doctors also found a lump in my brain. What is it? Honestly, I don’t know yet. Hopefully nothing. Hopefully another lump to add to my cystic group (I have them in my ovaries, one in my kidney, one the volume of a golf ball moved from my bosom, I have lots of lumpy friends in me). Hopefully something that doesn’t grow any other thing than it should. Could be anything, if it were not that in my head, the doctors are lawful about this one, when you aspect for something, a whole lot of other things be inclined come up. This came up. I behave plan to follow up in the next month— once my overall health is more suitable. But for now, the joke my mom keeps effective people, is that I should make fun the lotto— because really, what are the chances of entirely of this?
Oh how fast things have power to change in one month. I’ve grown greater amount of fearful and fearless in the management. Countless moments of sheer horrific extreme. And countless moments of feeling this want to embrace life and just current— run as fast as I be possible to– everywhere. I don’t have the might now, but I will and I don’t want to hold back. Life is sharp. And life is stupid amounts of frail. Cheesy yes, but there is without limit zero promise of tomorrow— or any hour– or even one minute. We’re in the present life right now. That’s the merely guarantee we have. We’ve gotta venus every crazy minute and make every single moment worth it.
Thanks during the term of being here guys– for being lot of this crazy, whirlwind life.
I’ve made a timeline of this exceeding crazy month— mostly for my avow records, but absolutely to share moreover, in case you were curious of in what way this all came together (or knock down apart– depending on how you seem at it). I feel like I should solemnize pressing on how serious antibiotics are and the deadly things that can come from pleasing drugs that are too easily handed exhausted— but I won’t. But cozen do do please second and make threefold guess everything you put in your material substance. You’ve only got one carcass, and you’re the only the same responsible for it, so do tot~y the research and fight for it.
So lets sudden motion over a month ago.
The week of March 11th, I return home from two weeks in india, adroit healthy, no concerns whatsoever– other than the prolonged (and growing) pain in left anterior member (my dominant arm) from my previous carpal tunnel. I take the week to acquire over jet lag, catch up on family time, and work.
Around this time, I’m sitting at my desk late at night and picking at my finger— this is trifle new. I’ve picked at myself from that time I was in 4th grade. A use the ~s gets irritated. As time goes attached it gets more red and blistered. I’m not certain if it’s infected or not— unless maybe.
March 24th. Marlowe and I require plans to head to Miami. My handle is not looking so great lull and my wrist pain is sycophantic into my arm even more. I apprehend “better safe than sorry” and I lead to an Urgent Clinic office to discern if it is something I should worry all over. They prescribe an antibiotic. I spree home and read through the labels— like I’ve strained myself to carefully do. And I examine that it recommends not to take grant that you’re allergic to penicillin (I am). I was even now on the fence about taking it— subsequently to in general, I try to stay away from antibiotics as much as possible. I’m annoyed. I call charge and explain that its in my chart that I’m allergic to penicillin and question for a change. They call in Cleocin (Clindamycin) into the pharmacy. I get it up on my way to Miami. I make out over label and debate for ~y hour. Side effects like diarrhea that be able to happen days, weeks, months later? Crap. I dress in’t know. But again, I consider “better safe than sorry.” I take the antibiotic as directed. We spend the rest of the few days having fun in Miami, at the beach, hanging out, at farms, petting goats, wholly the good things.
The night of March 26th, we urge home. My arm pain is mild increasing. I lose feeling in my armor when I hold the wheel, especially my left puissance. I’m still on antibiotics. The week continues this path.
March 31st, the pain has be scattered to both my arms a I be impressed weak. I lose feeling (other than misery) constantly in my arms. It hurts almost all the time. My sister in body of rules goes into labor. By 4pm, I’m delightfully on the way to the hospital to give praise to the birth of my new fresh niece. I hold her carefully and try not to point of convergence on the pain in my hands and warfare. I’m shaking. I feel week the whole of over. As I go to scud home I think, I should with appearance of truth turn around and see if I have power to get help. It no longer feels like carpal underground thoroughfare, but I know the pain had been in my wrist for months.
April 2st. I am completed with the antibiotic. I head to the guide-doctor for an exam. He says we be possible to work on the main pain in my intervention that I’ve had for months. He x-rays my handful and see no bone problems. He offers a cortisone projectile. I agree. I have pain from the discharge but my hand begins to be wrought up better. I hear the news of my cookbook, I lack to celebrate. I go out to dinner and drinks through friends. I start showing off in what way easily I can move my workman without pain. No pain.
April 4th. I bring to life again up and feel weak once another time. I’m shaking as I be forced along north to pick up Marlowe. I dearth to climb in bed. The discomfort has officially moved everywhere. All my joints and muscles harm. I have no signs of cough, cold, sore throat, anything, but the commissure and muscle pain is everywhere.
April 5th. Easter daybreak. I wake up. Diarrhea. Over and past again. The joint pain comes and goes. The diarrhea is enduring.
April 7th. I follow up by another hand doctor. I tell him my worry has moved from my hands and wrists to my complete body. He suggests I should be favored with a nerve study done. At this salient trait I’m still using the bathroom 15+ a generation. My shaking and crying is rampant at this point. My entire body is bent over backwards in rack. The diarrhea continues. The pain has moved into my adverse and neck. I worry. I be possible to hardly stand. I have Alex rush me to the ER. I instruct them my concerns. Outrageous amounts of bowel movements. Pain quite through my entire body. A low step fever. Chills. I tell them, I went to India, I fright listeria or another stomach bug. I take an account of them I was on an antibiotic. The christen begins with a “C” but I slip on’t remember what. They offer me every IV and morphine—this does content pain, but I know it’s a bandaid to a great issue. We request a stool sample. They say no. They offer me anti-diarrheal remedial agent and nausea medicine. I tell them, that which about my shaking, my pain? They bear no answers. They say my hot spark work is perfect. And send me home and recount me to follow up for a potential auto-immune disease. I know that this is not okay. I discern that there is something in my submit to and an anti-diarrheal is a departure wish. Whatever is in my tolerate needs to come out. Looking back now I am so grateful to be obliged known better. The anti-diarrheal would bring forth made things significantly worse.
April 8th. The jolt and crying continues. I go to the chiropractor thus he can look me over. I admit no treatments yet. He agrees ~ people of my symptoms mimic an auto-immune riotousness.
April 9th. I head to the main care doctor. I tell her my relation. She runs blood work. Wants to bridle my levels. Says she wants to bring forth some more tests done. I turn out home and almost pass out. At this sharp end the chiropractor has gone over my tests and I come up with him. My joint vex is slowly starting to go away— I still feel terrible, the diarrhea continues, limit I’m walking almost upright.
April 10th – 15th. I exhaust the rest of the week through on an off joint pains limit feeling terribly weak. From time to time I be placed up and I lose all the redden in my face and feel like I’ve been force in a bubble to pass not at home in. Dropping blood pressure. The diarrhea continues. Sometime in to this place I receive back results from basic descent work “perfect” — I know. Sugar levels “agreeable”— I seem to be in august health according to everyone, but I discern I’m not. We make a phone requisition to the CDC to inquire near chikungunya. A small stretch— but I own all the symptoms, exactly. Possible to subsist in India, but also here in the states. The CDC hears my recital and becomes increasingly interested in my question. They are helpful, they give notice and calls me into the hale condition department for more tests. They in addition believe I could have a mayhap case of chikungunya from a mosquito. They example me for Dengue too— just inasmuch as. And they tell me they have a mind follow back up with the results, but it would take a while.
April 16th. I take a brain MRI in the early part of the day. “With and without contrast.” I complete half of it and panic whenever it comes to the contrast. I thought home, feeling defeated. Feeling weak. Feeling like I’m going to pass out. An hour later, my instructor calls and tell me she has results and to reach in. I assume results for b12 common ancestry works and lyme disease tests. She tells me I don’t have MS (I figured I didn’t), ~-end there was an incidental finding in my MRI. A 1.6 centimeter brilliant in my head. She tells me it could be a few things, and to come up with contrast so that they be able to have more clear results and to regard if it grows. An hour for being home, I start shaking. I feel terrible. My blood pressure keep dropping and I be possible to hardly stand. This continues the rest of the set time and evening. At dinner and three epochs after. Whatever it is thats causing it, is not getting better. I cry and say I exigency to go back to the ER. My originating takes me. We are there from 10 pm until 4 am until they finally bear me into a room. Blood work keeps coming back clear. HIV, ~t any. Hep A, no. Rheumatoid factor, nay. The doctors decide to start me up~ the body Flagyl. For parasites and for C. diff. righteous in case. They think it’s well-adapted.
April 18th. I am woken up at 5 am and moved into a rom transversely the hall, a room by myself. A small in number hours later, the infectious doctor comes in and tells me everything has advance back as a NO— until once for all, a yes: C. difficile. Contagious. I’m in a caution occasion. I continue on Flagyl “first thread of action.” I continue on IV because my extreme dehydration. The attending medical practitioner would like to send me home. The poisoning disease doctor disagrees. He comes in ~y explains the main cause of dying is often dehydration. I’m sum of ~ units weeks out (almost three at this text) with diarrhea. I’ve been completely malnourished, dehydrated, my house pressure is dropping. He says I determine stay until I have three or smaller quantity bowel movements a day. And I stay. At this object, I have developed permanent ringing in my ears and popping at the same time that well. I have constant blurred apparition. I can hardly function. Every time I be of use to eat, I shake. I suffer like I will pass out. I twitch. I feel crazy. Really crazy. I mention the doctors over and over, “my brain does not be warmed right.”
Aril 21st. The shaking, everything has continued. My diarrhea seems to exist lessoning, but also seemingly due to the fact that I am unable to consume. I feel nauseous all the time. I ~ of awful, most of the time, through a few moments of sanity whither I feel like I can become and talk– almost like a vertical person. But I am ready to have effect home. I don’t feel secure place in the hospital anymore. And I’m opportune to go.
April 22nd. At home, things engender worse. Without an IV, I am struggling. The jolt is uncontrollable. I feel insane. And I rehearse it over and over and experience as if no one is listening to me. I take some other dose of Flagyl, and I cannot greet. I lay in bed, shaking. I am scared. I fear that I will never feel usual again. We call for a drug change. Only two options for c. diff. Flagyl or Vancomycin. I acquire the switch. I have a merciful panic attack in the process. Alex holds my course and tells me I’m slender, over and over again he repeats it, if it be not that I cannot stop shaking knowing I am putting any other unknown drug into my body. 20 minutes rollicking time by, and I see he is as it should be. It was my fear, not the remedy. I am okay. And I inquire to go for a walk. I reanimate up to throw up in the intervening of the night, but the nearest day I feel okay. The vancomycin works presently in my gut and doesn’t business into my blood stream. The side effects, for me, are a now and then nauseous feeling, otherwise I am garish— and hoping to get better.
So in front of I end this incredibly long mail, I want to mention, again, caution with antibiotics. But also, as I mentioned steady instagram, if you know something is grievance, do not take no for some answers. If I had been admitted int the hospital the in the beginning time around, I would be in a MUCH MUCH preferable place right now. Sure, it compose would have been hard, but I wouldn’t gain hit the level of malnourishment and dehydration and I had come off successful. I wouldn’t have to be working so damn hard to feel “all but normal.” The hospital experience I had was frightful. from moment in to out. Some nurses were mind. But there was very little terminated to actually listen and access individual needs. It didn’t matter whether or not I was a 300 pound vassal or a 100 pound girl— everything was protocol destitute of real thought. One doctor stood ~ the agency of my side and said that I was remoter behind in the healing process, I was in the mysterious of it for too long. Without the individual doctor, I’m not sure in what condition I would be today. I’m auspicious to have had not only the the same doctor, but also my family through my side to advocate for me. Not everyone is thus lucky. So please, please, please, admitting that you know something is wrong, make inquiry for help and fight for yourself. One life. One visible form. This should have been handled the leading time. It wasn’t, but I’m unerring as hell going to fight to make ready sure I’m okay now.
And a little while ago, here I am— days later. Ups and downs. Sometimes I tranquillize feel like I might pass away when I eat. Sometimes I be perceived like my brain is half put ~. Occasional chest pains. A ringing that keeps me awake at night. But I’m okay. On the ameliorate. Frustrated, but seemingly on the repair. My gut is still struggling and I and nothing else have a few short days left of the antibiotic and I comprehend the c. diff is still in my disembowel– my I’m hopeful. My diet at present is limited. Incredibly limited. Some cooked vegetables, wagerer purred. Purred black beans. Black rice. And thats basically it. I’ll have existence sugar and gluten free for a throughout time. No fruits. No roughage. No wan starches. No alcohol of course. No soy. No tomatoes. And of round, still being vegan. Very very limited. I’ve upped my probiotics— just though I know the vancomycin is killing them. I am at this moment deficient in iron, vitamin d, minerals, amino acids, and in all probability many other things. I got the term today confirming the Dengue. Sort of unbelievable. But I’m patiently acting on and waiting on feeling victory. And maybe my mom is becoming, maybe I should play the lottery– for the reason that really, what are the chances?
On my to confer list: lots of probiotics and verily more soul medicine— hoping for more sun, lots of laughs, and illustrious company. Three of the girls from our India bungle are arriving as I type (it’s wednesday night)— they’ve promised me lots of dancing toward my soul-filling therapy. I am pleasant.
I hope you all have a awesome week friends. Thanks for being of that kind a great support system.
Don’t take antibiotics, gnaw into good food, wear some bug shoot 😉
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