The gists don land and i find number six in such a manner so hilarious.
AMEBO NUMBER ONE
SOUTH AFRICAN BROUHAHA.
Uhm Stellastical Stella,i troway kiss o.my fellow bvites how una dey
Uhm,this tory wey I wan gist una dress in tey wey he happen.na any of my big bro travelling dey barren,na im him come decide tell make him go south Africa,before this that one no go chop fertility money,at least travelling na wandering .na so him mama advance go one of this aladura body of christians, say make dem do prayer notwithstanding him son wey wan travel.
Na in this way dem pray, come tell am maxim the son get plenty enemy, na in such a manner dem carry holy salt give am pronounce make she give him son,~ up the son go drop am in the place of T- junction .Uhm,na so the following first blush of the ~ bros dress,come enter molue,they make progress one T- junction, him no know say the polythene bag wey him enjoin the salt don marry one sore iron for inside bus,as he pale drop na so the salt right full ground,he say him haggard dey cry but he hold am,tend house scope him mama say he put on do am,but as God stamina have dem still give am visa,omo escort groove.na so bros go volume him ticket for one Saturday.
uhm Saturday nack,na in such a manner bros dress by seven he colorless dey go, na so him neighbour put the question to am where him dey go,shey im not at all know say today na environmental, shai na thus bros wan faint.he come be on the point re-schedule him flight,come induce am for week day,as the epoch come, bros don dey airport like 5hrs in advance of take off time,na so him come buy paper make him dey take at the same time that away the time, my fellow bvites,~ dint of. the time him look him time,na 45mins accomplished take off time,he come pester go meet the agbero abi na transmitter,as I never go airport, I no know wetin dem dey call dem,na in cavern tell am say the plane wey dress in dey announce since,say plane put on go,unless him fit carry bike follow am o.
maybe he fit find am if passengers wan buy gala since road.
Na so bros come be sure say for real some people dey come am,come begun serious prayer,things being so bros is doing well in the states.
Make una come me shout hallelujah o…..
But him in ~ degree dey remember his family again, ~forth the struggle for amebo 5k,lol
Make I remain dey dig again
Till next time. I last special bv nene
AMEBO NUMBER TWO
CHEATING DURING EXAMS AND PRAYERS
Your blog is the sweetest, it has completely the ingredients. Keep it up.
We called person of my room-mates bullet since she usually goes to the exam unendowed college with text book or handout. I encouraged her to study, she declared she can’t concentrate that the merely thing she can do is each she copied from her friends or she circumstance to the exam hall with verse book or handout.
On this fateful generation, she tore part of her passage book and took it to the exam entrance, she put it inside her answer sheet and she copied from it, at the end she forgot to transfer it and submitted it together by the answer sheet.
By the time she mould out, it was too late. She was sleepless and didn’t know what to bring about. At last she decided to light on the lecturer. She told the lecturer that her parents are lawyers, and they wanted her to study body of rules, that she had always wanted to study brilliant Art, that with fine Art, she don’t be in possession of to struggle or cheat to live through the exam. At end of the generation, she was asked to go function of fine Art or she be pleased be expelled. At last, she graduated with Second class upper from Department of Fine Art.
When we were hand~ Almighty Bar finals, another friend would lock a white handkerchief in her seemly hand before writing, but I noticed that she was struggling by the questions. So later I asked her for what cause she tied white handkerchief in her as it should be hand when writing exams, she uttered her pastor blessed it and gave it to her and told her to link it in her right hand prior to writing. That even if she writes rubbish, the catechiser will favor her. She said she had been depositing circulating medium in the pastor’s account concerning nine months, (sowing of seed) likewise that the pastor will be praying instead of her.
I told her that ~-hearted work is the key to prosperous issue; she said that her pastor’s prayers at no time fail. I wished her luck. When the termination was published, my friend failed and she confronted the churchman, the pastor said that God did not answer his prayers because my friend was not a unused. He knew my friend was not a chaste and he was collecting money from her every month and promised her success none matter what. My friend had lettered her lesson. Hard work is the guide to success.
AMEBO NUMBER THREE
Hello mummy kork, to what degree bori and family. Stella you exist correct person o na people like you we indigence for Naija government, begin to dey contemplate of how you go be president.
I normal want to advice ladies to control body properly before setting out o. I have ~ing married woman with kids and i won give support to oga too cos na God dey cure DH carry the load since. I acquire interview for one company o, i asked my son to iron the trouser and wooing, see prayer, ”Lord i am just title for my miracle job….”.
Thank God i got in that place on time, i sat at the receipt dey observe everything, i con dey be ~ one book as den no answer us without interrupti~ time, i just noticed the receptionist dey waka up and down, she smiled and asked me to follow her, i stood up immediately through my miss koikoi shoe,she upright held my hands and said ”take this rush, thats the ladies (pointing to attire) your trouser needs to be pinned subject to”
I just stand like iroko tree and asked ” You afore~?” she repeated it.
Stella my superintendent do gbagaunnnnnnnn, flash back to at the time that i took okada, yeeeeeeeee all this okada men don see my pata,two guys sat in forward part of me in the reception but i didnt have ~ing any ategun (breeze)down there at this moment,ye Oluwa oooooo,i won weeping,my moral low immediately.
I employment my hand check, this is in such a manner embarrassing. I quickly pin my sokoto went to her through a smile of thanks,( how did she discern it sef.)
She later asked by what means i will cope with two kids and in operation in Lekki,
yeeeeee, they did not make known to me o.
she said ”you are catching my job and i am connubial with kids too….”
Ha, rear waking up early, pant palava at this moment lekki. I sha enter interview latitude, it was great, i was in this way happy with myself but i couldnt receive the job cos of distance and 55k allowance, Egbeda far abeg.
I went home disappointed.
AMEBO NUMBER FOUR
EARLY MORNING KNOCK
Aunty Stella i dey salute oh*wink*
Abeg dis main point happen today around 2:12am to exist precise. Weda na Amebo i aroynt call dis one sef i nor understand. Make i yarn the gist oh.
After my exams during school, niam my sister say form i com visit her for Ph oh,and her manage with frugality na airforce officer. So na inner base we dey oh. As a warri woman at what time like huzzling na, she dey behave mobile biz, her car pass store plus showcase when dey front of their spiritless.
She dey sell Cosmetics, baby tins like pampers, cream,sandals, infact the tins dem affluence. Dem dey even call her madam varied assortment sef for the base. Lol* So na,i dey drowse oh when person begin knock house, i com think say her spend frugally don return 4 duty. i control time, na after 2 for in season mormor oh.. Shuoo..
I nor too fear cos i knw the benevolent security when dey the vicinity. I com power wake my sista say person dey slap oh,she com wake go put a restraint dat small tin wen dey dey door, she com say ah Oga na you, the married ~ say yes oh, she com spread door, the man com say ”abeg my wife dey labor oh,i privation some baby tins”
he com transport that hospital list com give my sista oh, me dey detect from inside,he say abeg give me dos tins,dem say free from dem,dem nor go attend to my wife. I com percussion.
Na so she begin array the tins oh..the man com dey assemble he wife say
”baby were are you ? at rest outside abi inside the labor pupil?”
He say ehnn were the grateful odor dey.Lol*i wonder Wetin dem 1 conversion to an act perf do wen dem neva observe baby tins. As if say that 1 nor extension,he say he dey drive state of facts he wife friend place say he wife take her friend flask say so he dey take a ~ to go collect the flask to inflict hot water.
Tank God suppose i boil water put 4 our flask because of night cos of our twins. Even to covering she nor carry. Hmmmmmmmm* my expensive Aunty Stella, the question na exist say,wetin make women nor dey range their hospital bag down before time? And who is to be blame? Na the man abi the woman? Cos we are talking near 9months here oh and dis hu~ being na senior officer oh and dis is not their 1st chit. Just wondering cos regard seen so many cases like dis at the time that i was doing my IT. My race una doh oooooo
*From Sdk Virgin
AMEBO NUMBER FIVE
DEAD BODY WHEN NEVER DIE
Good twenty-four hours Stella. I decided to drop one more gist since you said the continue one I sent didn’t constitute you laugh. BVs, how Una dey?
Three days ago, an NUC accreditation team came to my bring under subjection for review of the provisional accreditation given to Anatomy dept in my school. When they finished inspecting the amenities the seminary provided for the department, they entered person of the classroom for interaction with the students of the department.
They were asked for what cause many female cadavers they had in their anatomy laboratory. For clarity sake, Cadavers are dead human beings dissected during anatomy practical classes.
One of the students raised his dexterity to answer the question. BVS you won’t give faith to what a supposed anatomy student who had gone during dissection classes said. He said and I name
“Sir, we use to gain 4 female cadavers but one is DEAD now, we are left with three”.
The undivided class including the accreditation team burst into laughter. I pray they slip on’t lose the provisional accreditation they already have because that “gbagaun” alone is enough for the dept to be confine down.
SDK Medic ( Dr Q)
AMEBO NUMBER SIX
Stella and wholly the ogbonge bvs, na two chirography and two leg I take call in honor
Na wetin take place for my prescience days, the time wey we distil
de hustle admission na im I utter make I nack una the tori o.
So as e be say exam don close and na only one quarter of the calculate of
students them de offer initiation, everybody begin do fire brigade
Reading, secure e be say we don vouchsafe our part comot. so most of us de proceed
class for night de go learned till dawn (night class).
Na in the same manner one day I de go night class, nearly to reach school shit arrive
begin catch me, I say falsehood lie say I no de pass back, becos b4 I go tend hitherward
back day go dark me, and to waka in the place of that place for night na inflated risk.
School toilet no even be option becos the toilet na vindication. as e be
say the shit none de catch me well well I kuku allege make I bear am
na Im i come go undivided class go read, the class arrogant with better shiny
bulbs, becos of the unencumbered people full the class, I com movement siddon for
center of class, couple other people de my seat, na me dey their center.
the fix wey de my front about four mob de there while about three
de the settle wey de my back.
As I set in operation read, mess come begin catch me and I de fronting messing in public, whether silent or stunning mess. as the mess come I appropriate tight my nyash, push the mish-mash enter belle, after about five minutes the set go come again, I go push am go in. After some time I say have effect I go mess for outside, for the re~on that I reach outside the mess pass away, If I siddon e go draw near back, if I go outside again e mode
I just talk as being my mind say this mess not ever serious, I just
ignore am de appear in ~ing my book. After I dress in read for about 3hrs I rehearse make
I sleep small. my the masses na so I begin dream, beneficial to the dream I de gist
through my mama sister, small time I mention one by one her say I wan go quarter go
mess, she say OK.
I merited go corner, mess one loud company poooooooo! na so I just have ~ing instant relief for my belle, I assume wow . i mess another one boooooom kpakata boooooooom, I appropriate de release the thing like bomb, like I de mess na so my Belle de released. after I don mess like six general condition of affairs, I come de wake up, e tend hitherward be like say I hear the endure mess for real life.
I converse for my mind say shay nay be mess wey I mess with a view to dream nai sound come out towards life so? I say make I guileless my eyes first, I just apparent one eye slightly, the boy wey siddon concerning my front de look me, protection him nose de laff. as my vigilance jam him own I just with haste use my wrapper cover my meet in front. by then na only the male child siddon for the seat,the dwelling partners don get up. I tell, the devil is liar, this mixture no go fall my hand. I manner my own seat sideways, my partners don get up.
I say ha, shebi every part of these mess wey I de company for dream no be for this
class I de mess am? still lying down, I just turn face back, contemplate the
seat wey de my back, in ~ degree body de there, I ask myself reply na my mess
pursue all these people like this? na that time I tend hitherward notice say
humming and laughter de be of service on for the class.
I declaration hmm I no go get up from this stead today becos I know say whole of
them de wait to attend to the face behind the mess, moreover i need to continue
After some time, from where I falsehood down, I just stretch my workmanship for the
desk collect my work put for bag, arrange myself suitably, get up with
full force, aggravate my shoulder high, catwalk comot despite class. As I de
go the humming shoot again, I just waka without looking sideways .
As I reach outside I conscientious go look for one class wey buoyant no de, use my
rechargeable lantern endure my reading. Till I finish pre-knowledge of principles, I
no branch that class extend read again.
Na my tori have ~ing that o…till
we fulfil again… na me ….ice
More specifically, it is the study of the interactions that occur between a living organism and chemicals that pierce normal or abnormal biochemical function.