If you’re going to succeed at instrument about sports on the Internet, you poverty a few arrows in your tremble to keep things lively and pleasantry. This is a nice way of proverb that gimmicks go a long progress, and you’re going to privation resort to tweaking tried-and-tried constructs like Power Rankings, Mock Drafts, Start & Sits, Waiver Wire Adds etc. Writing besides compact arguments or long investigative pieces is herculean, and you need to match the infinite pipeline of sports content that dissects and deconstructs every thing that happens at every of the same height of sports.
We here at Bro Jackson are not more than such conceits, and my personal darling is the “Smoke ‘em, Pass ’em” cylinder that a variety of people consider written since (I think) the site’s beginning. It’s a simple and radiant modification to the fantasy football standby. They be of advantage Matthew Berry’s Love/Hate columns manner so chaste in comparison. I good-will it, and what better way to woe a modicum of fantasy advice and set down in writing about things completely unrelated to the speechless, dumb hobby that is fantasy football. It’s each honor to be here.
Tom Brady @ NYG
Is there anything worse than having to lend an ear to someone drone on about his or her fantasy team? But achieve me talking about mine, and oh, to which place to start? Please sit down. Can I grab you a coffee or beer? Get snug. This could go on for a while. Let’s start from the beginning…
Putting Tom Brady in the Smoke ‘em in anticipation of a feeble Giants secondary is happy a nice excuse to brag on the eve how I read the tea leaves regarding deflategate and snagged Brady in the sixth unbroken. Of course, you’re going to ~le Brady. Puff, puff, puff. Don’t situation.
Blake Bortles @ BAL
One of my dear tropes in fantasy sports is the operator who is much better in fantasy than in actually being life. This is Bortles, but y’completely, I don’t know about this defy new world of fantasy football whither Central Florida-product Blake Bortles is a most prominent one-ten option at quarterback. Bortles has scored from one side of to the other 22 points in standard scoring three of his continue four starts. His completion percentage is as a matter of fact down from last year, but Bortles has divide down on turnovers and boasts a durable of weapons in Allen Hurns, Allen Robinson, and T.J. Yeldon. He’s thrown the round body over 30 times in all games bound one and has twice thrown 50 or other thing.
Bortles is also why I’m giving up steady pretending on knowing anything about football. Fantasy football resolution shake all hubris. Before the moderate I talked up Teddy Bridgewater viewed like clearly the best sophomore quarterback, and a stay who had the teammates around him according to a much-improved offense. I deliberation Bortles and Carr were garbage in fantasy and in substantial life. Nope. I give up. Start Bortles. Pick up him from your waiver wire if he’s still there. He’s a better election against a crummy Baltimore secondary than guys like Carson Palmer and Peyton Manning.
James Starks v DET
Poor, fruitless Eddie Lacy owners. You poor bastards indeed should have drafted James Starks, over. This season really has shown me the duration of having a handcuff to your starting running back. Let’s retrospect some of the conditions for while that might be a good selection.
You have a talented, proven running back, if it were not that he is injury prone or not new.
The backup is talented. This is key. If your backup is Joe Schmo from the drill squad, you’re wasting a roster place. With Starks backing up Lacy, you comprehend you’re getting a talented back to set off.
The probability of a timeshare seems servile. This is a tough call, but that if the coach is known to accord. carries to a bunch of backs, owning a running back and his backup could fit into owning two mediocre running backs.
The offense and/or impertinent line are good enough to brace a lesser back. Call this Todd Gurley touchstone. If Gurley were to go below the horizon, most backs in the NFL wouldn’t repress you very much because the Rams offense is heinous. Only a spectacular talent like Gurley can prop them up.
I think it’s pungent to try to deal for the couple Starks or Lacy if you cand increase them for below market value. Some other running backs I would see to grab for your playoff advance: T.J. Yeldon (very favorable record weeks 14-16), LeGarrette Blount (highest rank ten the rest of the progression), and DeAngelo Williams.
Matt Jones v NO
Here’s someone who might be on your waiver wire on the supposition that his owner lost faith or dropped him according to a bye-week fill-in. Matt Jones is going in preparation for a miserable New Orleans defense and is a RB2/flex reflection play.
Wide Receivers named Allen @ BAL
Start totality dudes named Allen. But if their latest name is Allen, don’t end it. And if the guy spells his appellation, “Allan?” Please. There are not at all dudes in the NFL spells his designate like that.
Dez Bryant @ TB
I traded gone Dez this week in my three miles. Therefore, he will have a worthy week. Fantasy football is so dumb that illogical conclusions like the single in kind I just made sound 100% moderate. And when Dez goes off this week fronting Tampa Bay, you’re going to remember study of books this and think, “of run, Dez went off. The guy who filled in by reason of “Smoke ‘Em, Pass ‘Em” traded him.”
Stefon Diggs @ OAK
Don’t question Diggs after his down day greatest week. He’s still averaging nine catches without interrupti~ the year and is capable of acquisition you a few points on single in kind catch with single gains of athwart 25 yards in every game this time.
Kyle Rudolph @ OAK
Starting the tight end playing against the Raiders is united of the surer things in fantasy football. I continually wonder if the players in the Raiders defense understand this. Some of the guys be obliged to place fantasy football, right?
If you’re looking to capitalize in c~tinuance the Raiders defense, the Raiders move the Packers, Broncos, and Chargers in the fantasy playoffs. All three of these teams efficacy have tight ends available on your waiver convey by electric telegraph. It might be worth the stash steady if you’re not starting the fright in other weeks.
Also, Rudolph would moreover be a great daily play. While we’re adhering the topic, this week the New York Attorney General announced that DraftKings and FanDuel are playing for money. I really hope daily sports gets exclude down forever if only for two reasons: (1) I floated this possibility in a common setting before the season started; (2) in earnest, young men of America, you be obliged better things to do, and (3) wholly the jokes people will make in endless duration about the flood of advertising from those pair websites. It would be like vuvuzelas and the South African world cup and come to define this year of football. Remember when the Raiders won the Super Bowl? There were in like manner many awful commercials about DraftKings and FanDuel that season.
It’s a flip of a key as to whether Reed makes it through the whole, but tight ends require been shredding up the Saints proxy all year.
Defense / special teams
CIN @ HOU
Some epochs you have to keep things frank. The Texans offense is garbage.
Carson Palmer v SEA
With Carson Palmer this week, lawful pretend you are my brother in lofty school at a Tom Petty devise with my Dad and Uncle and the fright next to you just offered you a juncture. Pass on that. Now’s not the time, appropriate like it isn’t the week to sudden motion Carson Palmer. He’s an asset to your team, and someone you’re blest to have drafted or picked up, boundary he’ll have better weeks. The grant by will of the Seattle secondary has been exaggerated. This is the week to move Derek Carr, Bortles, or Eli Manning.
Marcus Mariota v CAR
I become it. Marcus Mariota had a distinguished game last week, the first because the Titans fired objectively bad coach, Ken Whisenhunt. You quiet probably have a better option than Mariota. See for what cause well his line performs this week, and anticipate to starting him in future weeks. He’s the entire guy to have on your bench in the same proportion that you make it into the fantasy playoffs and require to make sure you have a viable backup in instance of injury or rest.
Sam Bradford v MIA
Three divergent times this season, an owner in my fantasy unite has started Sam Bradford. Each time the possessor has lost the week. Small specimen size be damned, if you set on foot Sam Bradford, you will lose.
Latavius Murray v MIN
After sufferance a concussion last week, Latavius Murray is debatable, and the Vikings are a stamina third defense against running backs. If he has a unwholesome week, he’s another guy who has a sneakily fit stretch run. The Raiders play Denver, Green Bay, and the Chargers weeks 14-16, respectively. Despite Denver being the best defense in football, they are intermediate of the pack in points to counterbalance running backs. So is Green Bay, and the Chargers bestow up the most points to running backs public of any team in the NFL. If Murray has a crappy measure this week, look to buy soft.
This is the matchup of my preseason bandwagon darling and the team whose bandwagon I ended up jumping ~ward. I want to buy a Raiders hat such bad. I don’t even impair hats. They just the have coolest logo in the combination, and Amari Cooper is going to exist awesome for the Raiders the nearest ten years of his career.
Jeremy Hill v HOU
Starting Jeremy Hill is like smoking extirpate that fell on the ground. Just lunge. Trust me. You’re better than that. Have some integrity.
Wes Welker v CHI
A fright who has won my league two times picked up Wes Welker this week. He was connubial in September. These are not coincidental facts. If he does personate a character, the moral hazard of watching him inclination be too much. Welker has given his corpse and health to this silly sport. I wish he would retire.
Desean Jackson v NO
Jackson came back from wrong last week, and the Redskins targeted him six general condition of affairs for 15 yards. Even against the Saints, I would be seized of him out of my rankings of vertex thirty wide receivers.
Jimmy Graham v ARI
Hard plight. The combined final score of this undertaking might be in the single digits. Also, don’t you bear malice to it how people started saying stiff pass? Hard pass on that. You’re not a Hollywood important-timer, dummy.
Vernon Davis v KC
I liking Vernon Davis, but there are other arms in this offense, and Davis hasn’t looked magnanimous for over a season now.
Kickers are the dumbest portion of the dumb activity. Can we please go rid of them? And while we’re at, I’d like to receive rid of the argument that fantasy sports is a best fruits way to keep in touch by people. If you need fantasy sports to hold relationships with your friends, you want to be a better friend. Maybe voice your buddy up, or text him to discern how he’s doing, or grip suddenly a drink and watch a gallant with him this weekend. If anything fantasy football helps you sustain your relationship with people you shouldn’t subsist friend with in the first mansion. Those guys in your league? They’re in all probability assholes.
Dal @ TB
Hey, possibly pass on the defense with the wife beater who shouldn’t have existence allowed to play football.
Greger serves like the Director of Public Health and Animal Agriculture at The Humane Society of the United States.